As you may know I'm a huge fan of cinema and with my Cineworld Unlimited card (first talked about in my Top 5 Films of 2014 (so far) post). I go to the pictures at least two to three times a week. Some weeks it feels like I spend more time at my local Cineworld that I do at home so it's no surprise that after three years I've built up quite a list of things that actually really bug me about going to the cinema! Read on to find out more...
10. 3D glasses
A lot of films are made and/or released in 3D these days and whilst some films really do benefit from the technology (Dredd for example) there are others where it just falls flat. I can take or leave 3D but the thing that annoys me most about it is the glasses. I'm not talking about how dorky I might look in them, I'm talking about how as someone who already wears specs it is bloody difficult to keep them on my face! I don't mind wearing prescription glasses but I have a very short nose and it is near impossible to balance the 3D glasses and my usual ones on my nose. Sometimes they just fall off altogether mid-film. I often end up holding them in place which isn't a very comfortable position in which to watch a film.
9. People in the wrong place
8. People who bang doors
This one probably doesn't upset anyone other than me but when people pop to the loo mid-film they always seem to bang the doors. If I have to leave I hold the door handle so that it gently closes but nobody else seems to be as thoughtful (even my Cinema Buddy, you know who you are!) Another bug bear is when the staff come into the auditorium towards the end of the film with their black bag to clean up and they bang the doors too. The film has never quite finished so they stand there watching the audience which also distracts me.
7. Parents taking children to inappropriate films
I'm going to partially blame the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification) for this one for introducing the 12A rating. Prior to this it was simply a 12 rating which meant nobody under the age of 12 could see the film full stop. Now anyone under the age of 12 can see a 12A film as long as an adult takes them. In the case of films like The Hobbit or Captain America this doesn't seem like such a big deal but there are a lot of films that just aren't suitable in content or tone for young children. This doesn't stop some parents taking them though. I'm unsure if it's because the children want to see the film or the adults do and they can't find a babysitter! The BBFC guidance on a 12A film states:
The BBFC considers the content of 12A rated films to be suitable for children aged 12 and over, and we would not recommend taking very young children to see them. Works classified at these categories may upset children under 12 or contain material which many parents will find unsuitable for them.
Unfortunately it's unlikely that parents can afford to watch a film first then decide if it's suitable! I've seen lots of 12A certificate films with frequent and strong sexual references, gory moments, depiction of suicide, minor drug use and my favourite - very strong language. Call me old-fashioned but I personally don't think that young children should be taken to films that contain the word f*ck. I've seem so many films that are littered with swear words and looked around to see children as young as 4 sitting watching them. It makes me uncomfortable. I could go on as I have tons of specific examples but let's just leave it at that because this is only number 7...!
6. People who giggle at sex scenes
It's usually teenagers. Enough said.
5. People who are unruly
Again, it's usually teenagers. Some young people seem unable to just sit still. I've actually been in an auditorium when some kids decided to steal and throw their friend's shoes around. It's very distracting and these people just need to grow the hell up.
4. People kicking the back of your seat
Anyone whose ever flown can probably relate to this one. I don't mean when someone accidentally knocks your seat whilst passing, I mean people who do it continuously throughout the film. I don't know if they're stretching their legs and don't realise that the chairs aren't made of concrete but regardless of reasoning it's bloody annoying!
3. Rustling packets
2. Loud talkers
The second of the loud talking types are the "question askers" - they can't understand what's happening so they ask the people they're with, very loudly. "Who's he?" "hang on, wasn't he with her a minute ago?" "so, is he the murderer or not?" and my personal recent favourite (said numerous times as people clocked on) "wasn't he McLovin in Superbad?!" If people can't follow the plot they should Google it afterwards, not let the rest of us hear how stupid you are. They are not at home in their front room, they are in a room with numerous strangers who all want to sit and enjoy a film without hearing people loud whisper. If someone can't sit in silence for 120 minute then they might not be suited to a cinema environment. Wait for it to come out on DVD! I want to stress I'm not talking about children who talk during films aimed at children - if you're watching a Disney film at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon then this kind of thing is to be expected. It's why I don't watch Disney films at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon!
1. Mobile phones
When I was researching this post I asked people on my Facebook page and on the Cineworld Facebook page for their cinema related pet peeves and it didn't surprise me one bit that this came out on top. It has been a constant annoyance and one that seems incapable of dying anytime soon. I don't mind when people use their phones before the film - the lights are on and it doesn't cause a distraction but as soon as a film starts it should be in a bag or pocket and turned off (or on silent mode at least!) There is no need to have a phone in your hand. People don't need to check their texts, to text people during the film or to read their Facebook feed! If someone can't spend a couple of hours without looking at their phone then they are incompatible with cinema going and should stay away!
It might seem like all of this is enough to put someone off the cinema altogether, but luckily these things happen very infrequently these days because I go to showings that start after 9pm. This reduces the number of people who are around to commit the aforementioned crimes against cinema! I'm sure you'll have noticed some if not all of these things from time to time and if so let me know in the comments below. If you think I've been a bit harsh then you're probably right, but that's the point in a list like this - it's a form of catharsis!
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